ramblings

a bunch of stuff that i never talk about because they make me uncomfortable.


i miss my mom. i feel like i was a bad daughter, especially the last few months of her life. i wish i would have spent more time with her. it does annoy me when people complain about their moms and treat them horribly. i saw this in a PostSecret book once: "I smile sweetly and pretend to sympathize with my friends who are always fighting with their mothers.  I would give my left arm just to have my mother alive to fight with." yeah. sometimes i get jealous when i see girls hugging their dad. i wish my dad would hug me. i don't fully understand the concept of God being a father, but i hope i do someday. when i was a little girl, i was hurt by someone very close to me. i didn't remember it until i was 15. the person who hurt me is dead, and i miss him. sometimes i feel like i'm being overly dramatic about the whole thing. i told three people about it and none of them seemed to care. i miss charles. i probably shouldn't, but i do. at first i was glad that he moved to michigan because even if i was tempted to go back to him, i couldn't. now i wish he would come back, even if its just so i could say goodbye. im talking to him on myspace right now actually, and im more excited than i should be.UGHGHGHGHGHGHG i need more self control!

4

I love how even when I start running away from God, he brings me back. When I break his heart, he takes me back into his arms without hesitation. His love is just so amazing...
There are so many things I wish I could go back and change. There are things I wish I wouldn't have done, but I'm not going to let these regrets dictate my life or my relationship with God. I love love LOVE this verse-
Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow;
Though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.

Popcorn?

I want to write. I have a million things to write about, but I don't know how to start.

So I'll blog about popcorn.

This is popcorn.YUM.

 

This is the world's largest popcorn ball! It is composed of 3,100 pounds of popcorn, sugar, and syrup!

This means 'popcorn' in Chinese.

Also note that the Spanish word for popcorn is 'poporopos'. It's more fun if you roll the r.

Have you ever sat around wondering how to sign 'popcorn' in sign language? Look it up on google, 'cause it's kind of difficult to explain in writing...

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed my blog about popcorn. Who am I talking to? No on reads my blog!

-Moriah

God, in his grace, doesn't free me to do whatever I want. He frees me from the chains that once bound me so that I don't have to be a slave to sin.

just an awesome thought that God gave me. :)

Condemnation

     So I sat here feeling sorry for myself for the last half hour. Why? Partially because I felt like I'm not as 'perfect' as my friends. I was at a Bible study with some amazing girls from my youth group, most of whom have been Christian for nearly all their lives. I started thinking about some of the mistakes I've made, and the thought crossed my mind, "I'm sure none of these girls have done that." I felt inadequate. Why would the God of the Universe, the PERFECT and HOLY God, want to use me when he had more 'perfect' people to choose from? Surely there are better candidates than me.
     Then I remembered something that God told me at camp a few weeks ago: "If I, the perfect and holy God can forgive you, then why can't you forgive yourself?"
     "Yeah, but I did this, and this, and that, and..."
     "You need to forgive yourself."
     "Okay, God, I forgive myself..."
     Yay! Except, there's a big difference in saying you forgive someone, and actually forgiving them - even when that someone is yourself. And it's obvious that I haven't forgiven myself. Not only that, but I don't think I've truly believed that God forgives me. In the past few weeks, I've been remembering some of the things I've done. Every time I would think about them, I would ask God to forgive me. But he ALREADY forgave me! Why would he need to forgive me again if he already forgave me? For some reason, I believed that my sins were unforgivable.
     Then God gave me the verse John 3:17- For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. That got my attention. God doesn't condemn me, but I've been allowing myself to live in condemnation and guilt because my sins were 'too big.' I was then reminded of John 8:1-11. The Pharisees had brought in a woman caught in adultery, saying that the Law said to stone such women. But Jesus told them, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." Eventually everyone had left, except Jesus and the woman. John 8:10-11 Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?"
"No one, sir," she said.
"Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."
Jesus did not condemn her for her sin, but instead told her to repent. That's what He wants from us too - He wants us to turn away from our sin, not live under condemnation.
     I am so blessed to have such a merciful God...