Condemnation

     So I sat here feeling sorry for myself for the last half hour. Why? Partially because I felt like I'm not as 'perfect' as my friends. I was at a Bible study with some amazing girls from my youth group, most of whom have been Christian for nearly all their lives. I started thinking about some of the mistakes I've made, and the thought crossed my mind, "I'm sure none of these girls have done that." I felt inadequate. Why would the God of the Universe, the PERFECT and HOLY God, want to use me when he had more 'perfect' people to choose from? Surely there are better candidates than me.
     Then I remembered something that God told me at camp a few weeks ago: "If I, the perfect and holy God can forgive you, then why can't you forgive yourself?"
     "Yeah, but I did this, and this, and that, and..."
     "You need to forgive yourself."
     "Okay, God, I forgive myself..."
     Yay! Except, there's a big difference in saying you forgive someone, and actually forgiving them - even when that someone is yourself. And it's obvious that I haven't forgiven myself. Not only that, but I don't think I've truly believed that God forgives me. In the past few weeks, I've been remembering some of the things I've done. Every time I would think about them, I would ask God to forgive me. But he ALREADY forgave me! Why would he need to forgive me again if he already forgave me? For some reason, I believed that my sins were unforgivable.
     Then God gave me the verse John 3:17- For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. That got my attention. God doesn't condemn me, but I've been allowing myself to live in condemnation and guilt because my sins were 'too big.' I was then reminded of John 8:1-11. The Pharisees had brought in a woman caught in adultery, saying that the Law said to stone such women. But Jesus told them, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." Eventually everyone had left, except Jesus and the woman. John 8:10-11 Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?"
"No one, sir," she said.
"Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."
Jesus did not condemn her for her sin, but instead told her to repent. That's what He wants from us too - He wants us to turn away from our sin, not live under condemnation.
     I am so blessed to have such a merciful God...